Getting Back In The Dating
Game
by:
John Alanis
I have bad news for you--if it hasn't
already happened, some day a woman is going to
break your heart. Yep, if you're alive, you're
male, and you like women, some day one is
going to break your heart. Although it can be
mitigated, it can't ever be completely
avoided, and how you respond to it will
determine your success with dating women.
What I'm going to do today is tell you how
to get back into the dating game--many guys
screw this up, either jumping right back in
and getting into the good ol' rebound
relationship, or waste their lives mooning
over the one that got away.
The first thing to realize is, no matter
how much you use my dating strategies, if your
relationship with a woman ends in a way you
don't want it to (and this may range from her
dumping you to her dying in a car accident),
you're going to feel some pain, maybe some
anger. You can't avoid that, so just accept
it.
The worst of it will last about three weeks
(sometimes more), and then it will begin to
slowly dissipate. During these three weeks do
NOT sit around and mope. Occupy your mind with
massive action--work your ass off to make more
money, hit the gym hard, do whatever you can
to grab onto these powerful emotions and
harness them. I've known many men who've
started great businesses after dating a woman
who figuratively kicked them in the teeth.
Why? They harnessed their emotions and turned
them towards creative means.
During this time I don't recommend you even
think about dating or women. Sports, business,
guy stuff, hobbies are all fine, but forget
about women--they'll be there soon enough. The
other thing to avoid is hatred. Be pissed off
at what happened, but don't put it on her
personally--you never know when she might come
back.
After the initial feelings have dissipated
a bit, you want to slowly start bringing women
back into your life. I don't mean dating or
anything like that, I just mean starting
conversations with women. Talk to waitresses,
bank tellers, saleswomen, and try to create
initial attraction. Don't follow up, just get
used to briefly creating attraction with all
women. Do this for at least a month.
By this time the pain will be dissipating
day by day--it'll still be there, but it will
be less. The thing to do next is to start
turning the initial attraction into
meetings--coffee works best. Here you'll want
to amplify that spark of attraction, and look
for the opportunity to spend more time with
her.
You should not be meeting or dating women
who are looking for a serious relationship at
this point. You want to meet women who are
bright and fun, and who are out to have a good
time. Nothing lessens pain more than having
fun with a few great women, re-acclimating
yourself to being in their company. Stay with
this step as long as you want--I know a few
knuckleheads who are blissfully "stuck" at
this step, and that's OK.
Now you're to the point where you can
decide for yourself if you're ready for
something more serious. You've built a great
foundation for yourself--you turned pain into
creativity, learned how to create attraction
for women, had some great dating adventures
with some great women, and have the CHOICE of
where to proceed next. Sounds a heck of a lot
better to me than chasing some dumb rebound
relationship or spending your life moping over
the "one." She ain't the one, just the "last
one" and YOU get to choose the "next one!"
Take it from the King, the best cure for pain
is planned action--you just might discover you
came out ahead in the end.
