Double Peppermint Schnapps
on the Rocks
by:
Kingston Amadan
Many years ago when I was young, attractive
and a viable commodity on the dating market, I
was employed as a bartender. Believe it or
not, I actually went to "school" to learn this
trade. I was living in Las Vegas at the time,
and I decided to attend a local bartending
academy (translated - you pay us and we'll get
you a job as a bartender). Six years, 50,000
bottles of Bud Light and several hundred
Captain and cokes later I finally hung up my
shaker, but not before I learned a valuable
trick ot two about meeting other singles at a
club. The three peices of wisdom I feel safe
imparting with are as follows:
# 1 Never go alone
#2 Pretend you don't care if you meet
someone or not (even though we both know what
you are there for, you slut) AND...
#3 Double peppermint shnapps on the rocks
OK, 1 and 2 are fairly simple to
understand...but what's up with number 3, you
ask?
It's simple, really. You've shown up
looking like a million dollars (or $138.57 in
my case). You make eye contact with the guy or
girl you want to meet. You finally muster up
the courage to go over and introduce yourself
and then what do you do? Of course...you lean
in and turn your head so as not to expose your
future victim to the intoxicating mix of cheap
beer and saliva your teeth are fermenting in.
Why do you do this? You do it because YOU KNOW
your breath is bad. How could it not be? Most
mixed drinks, beer and liquors aren't doing
your delivery any favors. So what's the
solution? Double peppermint schnapps on the
rocks. I remember vividly that one gentleman
at a nightclub I worked at always ordered it,
every single time he came in. Guess what...he
never went home alone unless he wanted to.
Let's face it, you wouldn't immediately
dismiss a man or woman who slurred his or her
speech while hitting on you but you would put
the kabash on a bad breath encounter quicker
than you could say "last call". No one likes
to see someone at their worst, but to smell
someone at their worst is far more disgusting.
So the next time you go to the club looking
for a romantic encounter, order the one drink
that might help you out. If you really want to
be safe, send one over to the table of the
person you are interested in before you take
that long walk over to make your case. Good
luck and good breath.
About The Author
Kingston Amadan
A BadBreathOGram is an e-mail you send
to someone who you want to know has bad
breath but you do not want to confront
directly. Give it a try.
http://www.badbreathogram.com/. |